It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Yes, it’s that time of year when preparations begin for the arrival of that favourite festive visitor: Santa Claus.
Ask almost anyone to describe Santa and they’re likely to offer a similar picture: a portly, jolly looking man with white beard, glasses and rosy cheeks. But, while his appearance may be synonymous with the season of goodwill, it doesn’t suggest Santa’s in the best of health.
Depending on his portrayal in your favourite festive film, Santa stands anywhere between 5’6″ to 6’6″ tall and weighs between 80kgs-136kgs. Whatever Santa’s vital statistics, though, it’s likely he’s overweight or obese. Unfortunately, he seems to carry most of this weight around his middle.
Some of this body fat will keep him insulated – important given how much time he spends outdoors on his sleigh – and cushion his internal organs. But, when too much fat sits around the abdominal organs, such as the stomach, the small and large intestines, the liver and the kidneys, it can be harmful to health.
So, perhaps those of us who leave refreshments for Santa on Christmas Eve might consider offering some healthier alternatives to the traditional mince pies and cookies. A diet of such high fat, high sugar snacks increases the risk of developing obesity and chronic conditions such as heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes, osteoarthritis and colorectal cancer.
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Drink and be ruddy
Santa’s flushed complexion is often viewed as an indication of his cheery nature –but red cheeks can also be a symptom of rosacea, a chronic skin condition.
From drinking all the sherry and beer left for him to carrying heavy loads of presents, to windburn from flying through the air on his sleigh, Santa’s lifestyle seems to include many of things that can exacerbate rosacea.
Santa lives in a cold climate in the Arctic circle, and spends long periods of time on his sleigh travelling in the stratosphere, where temperatures can get as low as -80°C. It also exposes him to high levels of UV radiation – even in the dark. Lifetime UV exposure is a significant environmental factor associated with developing rosacea.
Santa’s beard and traditional fur-lined outfit, then, aren’t enough to protect his face from the elements – he should be using sun block and wearing a scarf over his face, as well as goggles – to minimise the damage caused by his Christmas Eve delivery duties.
As for the drinking, Santa’s ruddy cheeks could also be the result of alcohol flush syndrome. This is triggered by the body’s intolerance to alcohol, and affects 8% of the general population. Alcohol sensitivity can indicate an increased risk of high blood pressure and some cancers, so he should avoid – or at least limit – his alcohol consumption.
Even if Santa doesn’t have an intolerance to alcohol, he’s still at high risk for alcohol poisoning and alcohol related liver disease (ARLD).
Just 12 units of alcohol are enough to cause alcohol poisoning. Most people would reach this level after four or five pints, especially if they’re drinking quickly.
As for ALRD, this condition comes from years of high alcohol consumption. It develops when the liver is subjected to more alcohol than it can process, causing toxic metabolites to kill the liver cells. Santa’s liver may well show the hallmarks of the condition, including fat deposits, inflammation and scar tissue.
Of course, Santa must also be cautious about operating a sleigh under the influence. After just a couple of drinks, Santa’s blood alcohol content (BAC) would exceed the safe recommendation for operating an aircraft – a level equivalent to 0.2 grams of blood alcohol concentration, which is 0.2% in BAC terms. Santa’s BAC is more likely to be 0.40%, a medically dangerous level – and maybe even higher than 0.54%, the highest ever recorded non-fatal BAC.
Baby, it’s cold outside
The good news is that research shows that overweight alcohol drinkers are less likely to suffer from cold-induced injuries.
After all, exposure to extreme cold temperatures put Santa at significant risk of frostbite. Spending just a few minutes in these temperatures is enough to narrow the blood vessels in Santa’s extremities. Even wearing gloves may not be sufficient to prevent ice crystals forming in his blood at -4°C or below. At this point, Santa may experience tissue damage, and amputation of the affected body parts may be required.
If Santa doesn’t feel the cold, which would explain the images of his delighted expression while driving his sleigh in all weathers, then he could have congenital insensitivity to pain, a rare genetic disorder that stops people from feeling pain, including extremes of temperature.
Travelling at high speed in the stratosphere, there’s also less than 30% of the usual amount of oxygen. These conditions would quickly lead to hypoxia – low levels of oxygen in the body’s tissues – which can cause confusion, restlessness, increased heart rate and blood pressure.
It takes at least two weeks at altitudes that are a fraction of where Santa operates for blood to increase its oxygen-carrying capacity. Hypoxia coupled with alcohol is a recipe for a health disaster. Santa’s cardiovascular system would be under severe strain and he may experience a decline in cognitive function.
Stuck up the chimney
Stokkete/Shutterstock
Squeezing into soot-filled chimneys is also a significant health hazard for Santa. Studies have shown that prolonged exposure to many of the particulates found in chimneys increases the risk of various cancers. Carbon particulates can get trapped deep in the lungs, taken up by immune cells and cause lung diseases.
Exposure to smoke increases his risk of dementia and Alzheimer’s. Exposure to soot also puts Santa at risk of developing cancer of the scrotum – a cancer identified in chimney sweeps in 1775.
With all these potential health issues, it’s a wonder Santa manages to deliver presents at all.
Adam Taylor does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.
