The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy. It is the kind of joy that shows up in coordinated family photos, crowded living rooms, and long-awaited reunions. For TV personality and hidradenitis suppurativa (HS) patient Frank Grimsley, known for winning The Circle on Netflix, that joy has often felt out of reach. He began experiencing painful, unexplained symptoms at sixteen and was not officially diagnosed with his condition until 2020. In that time, he missed family traditions, skipped holiday games, and learned to move through celebrations with a kind of vigilance most people never have to think about.
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The Reality of HS
Frank is one of the 1 in 100 Americans living with HS, based on prevalence estimates reported in JAMA Dermatology. It is a chronic immune-related skin condition that causes painful bumps, lesions, and flare-ups in areas where skin rubs together. These flare-ups can make holiday travel unbearable, turn festive outfits into sources of dread, and transform simple gatherings into moments of physical stress. HS is often invisible to others, but its impact is constant.
How HS Shapes the Holidays
“Living with HS has always made the holidays feel different for me,” Frank said. “While others focused on the excitement, I was constantly wondering if a flare-up would hit. I felt pressure to show up looking and feeling fine even when I was not.”
Instead of slipping easily into celebration, he found himself quietly calculating pain levels, comfort, and how much his body could handle.
“So, instead of simply enjoying the moment, I often had to prepare myself both physically and emotionally in ways my peers did not.”
When Joy and Pain Collide
Frank remembers one holiday in particular. It was a moment that should have been simple and warm.
“I remember spending parts of the holidays feeling really uncomfortable, even when everything around me was joyful,” he said. “On the outside, I looked fine, but inside, I was fighting through discomfort that made even simple moments feel heavy.”
It is the kind of invisible burden many people with chronic illnesses carry, especially during a season that expects cheerfulness.
Adjusting Traditions and Expectations
Over time, Frank learned to adapt holiday traditions in ways that protected his body and energy.
“I choose clothing that will not irritate my skin. I try to avoid long stretches of sitting in uncomfortable chairs or tight spaces. I build in moments to step away and rest if I need to,” he explained. “I enjoy the holidays, but I just participate at a pace that honors where my body is.”
Balancing Participation and Pain
The desire to be fully present does not disappear, but neither does the unpredictability of HS.
“I had to learn that giving myself grace is not the same as missing out,” he said. “Some years I could do everything, and some years I needed to move slower or say no. My worth is not tied to how much I can physically do.”
What He Wishes Others Understood
Frank wishes that people could see the whole picture.
“I wish people understood that even when I look fine, I may still be dealing with real discomfort,” he said. “I am not being distant or disengaged if I need to sit something out. I am still grateful to be there. I am just listening to my body.”
Strategies That Help
Managing HS during the holidays often means focusing on what can be controlled.
“I take Cosentyx to help manage my symptoms,” Frank said. “Rest is a big one. Staying mindful of stress and protecting my peace is another. I stick to a gentle routine that keeps my body supported, even when my schedule gets busy. And honestly, asking for help or slowing down when I need to has made a huge difference.”
“Recently, I was part of a Cosentyx event. That was a turning point for me,” Frank said. “Sitting in a room with people who understood this condition on a personal level reminded me of the power of community. Hearing our stories side by side made it clear that none of us are walking this alone.”
During a season when many people with chronic conditions feel isolated, that sense of connection matters.
A Message to Others Living With HS
For people navigating HS or any chronic condition during the holidays, Frank offers a message rooted in compassion and truth.
“You are not behind, you are not broken, and you are not alone,” he said. “Your body may move differently, but your light is still just as strong. Take things at your own pace, protect your peace, and know that there is a whole community of people who understand exactly what you are carrying. You belong in every room you enter, exactly as you are.”
Resources:
Frank Grimsley (@franknthecity) • Instagram photos and videos
The Circle Netflix (@thecirclenetflix) • Instagram photos and videos
