The orgasm gap — the consistent finding that men who have sex with women have more frequent orgasms than women who have sex with men — has been shown in study after study of cisgender, heterosexual participants.
The gap is a big one: Based on a recent Canadian study, approximately 60 per cent of women and 90 per cent of men reported reaching orgasm in their most recent sexual encounter.
In sexually diverse samples (samples that also include women who have sex with women and men who have sex with men), the pattern becomes more nuanced but still supports a gendered orgasm gap.
(Pexels/Ketut Subiyanto)
Research has shown that the gap in orgasm frequency is reduced (in other words, there is more equal orgasm frequency) in women who have sex with women (about 75 per cent), and this rate is significantly higher than in women who have sex with men (about 62 per cent). However, men as a group — regardless of who they were having sex with — still had significantly higher orgasm frequency (85 per cent) than women overall (63 per cent). Women are orgasm-disadvantaged overall and especially when they have sex with men.
Mind the gap
How far-reaching is the orgasm gap and what factors might be standing in the way of orgasms for all? We — a team of researchers and science journalists from the podcast Science Vs — examined orgasm frequency in a large diverse sample that included sexual (such as lesbian) and gender (such as trans) minorities and majorities, as well as racialized participants (there were no significant results with analyses focused on sexual orientation or race).
The good news? We found that many people overall were having lots of orgasms — about two-thirds reported having orgasms almost or every time they engaged sexually.
The not-so-great news? The orgasm gap persisted: cis men overall reported the highest orgasm frequency compared to women and gender minorities (who did not differ significantly from each other). In addition, we found that participants of all genders who engaged sexually with women reported significantly more frequent orgasms than those who engaged sexually with men. So being partnered with a woman is associated with an orgasm advantage.
More not-so-great news was that about 17 per cent of participants reported almost never or never having orgasms during sex and that there were many factors preventing orgasms in participants. For cis women, psychological barriers — such as insecurities, mental health struggles and distractions — were prominent, as were sexual obstacles (like not receiving adequate stimulation), difficulties inherent in having orgasms (for example, they take too long and require too much effort) and not knowing why orgasms are difficult for them to have.
Closing the gap
So why does the orgasm gap exist and persist? One main reason is that broad sociocultural norms prioritize men’s sexual pleasure over women’s. Indeed, these norms develop from the traditional (heterosexual, western) sexual script that defines the end of sexual activity as male orgasm; importantly, women’s adherence to this script has been associated with lower sexual satisfaction.
(Unsplash/Jonathan Borba)
Another is that mainstream media feeds into narratives of sexual expectations based on gender, such that portrayals of women who do not have orgasms are much more — even readily — acceptable than portrayals of orgasmless men. This inequality is played out in sexual encounters, perpetuating the gap and contributing to complacency in addressing it.
But there is hope: Heterosexual men’s motivation to bring their partner to orgasm and their intentional incorporation of sexual activities that increase the chance of orgasm for their partner — such as clitoral stimulation and oral sex — can help narrow (and even eradicate!) the gap. Women’s own degree of familiarity with their partner has also been shown to be help narrow the gap. Higher familiarity (think of a long-term situationship as opposed to a casual hookup) was associated with higher orgasm frequency.
The simple act of prioritizing women’s orgasm — captured with an easy-to-remember phrase of “she comes first” — may be all that is needed to substantially narrow the orgasm gap.
