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Our Wellness is Our Resistance
Community has always been at the core of Black wellness – from the hair salons, barbershops and churches to the Sunday dinners – and in today’s modern settings, the group chats and social media platforms. We spoke with Tara Pringle Jefferson, author of the beautiful new book Bloom How You Must – A Black Women’s Guide to Self-Care and Generational Healing, about the heritage of wellness in our community and the distinct areas where we should be the most assertive in prioritizing self-care. Her book serves as a permission slip to Black women to shift from performance to pause, to think deeply about the origins of self-care in our communities and how the past shapes the present and future.
Let’s Keep It Real – What’s Really Wrong?
Before we dive into the concept of self-care, we must unpack the core reasons why we feel like we’re running on empty. And no, it has nothing to do with poor scheduling, laziness or there not being enough hours in the day. Tara dives into the ‘historical mandate’ to perform that has followed us for generations. Our value is often tied to output, so much that if we are not producing or ‘holding it down’ for everyone else, we feel that we aren’t doing enough.
Tara points out in the book how our bodies were treated as labor sites. “To see a Black woman is to expect her labor,” she adds. “It is not important she is getting enough sleep at night or that she is doing well mentally, all that matters is what she produces.”
This year, we deserve to take a fresh approach to health and wellness. Not by adding or reconfiguring an existing schedule, but by realizing that you are worthy of rest. Just because.
Take Time for a Self-Audit
Instead of approaching a new year with a rigid list of resolutions, Tara suggests starting your wellness journey with a self-audit. This is the gentlest way of checking in on yourself and asking the question: “how am I really doing?”
She notes that because our lives are so hectic, we don’t realize that we’re overwhelmed and struggling until we stop. By taking a much-needed ‘pause, we can identify the areas of our lives in need of attention and healing – physical, social, professional, spiritual, mental and even creative.
This process begins with prioritizing Black Wellness – tapping into your own internal needs and investigating every facet of your life. Even taking a hard look at Professional Wellness. With rising unemployment and career instability hitting Black women incredibly hard, Tara shares that we must redefine success on our own terms, perhaps by seeking out mentorship or community bartering to navigate unpredictable employment and financial shifts.
“Usually”, Tara shares “at least one life area will come to the forefront.” If the self-audit uncovers signs of stress, anxiety and burnout, it may be a sign to seek out professional support with cultural relevancy, such as resources found through platforms like Therapy for Black Girls.
When Solo Is a No, No!
Modern wellness practices are often marketed to us an expensive (and even solo) event – ranging from a luxury spa weekend, exclusive gym membership, luxury candles or even meditation app. Tara’s research shows us that our ancestors knew better. They used community as a tool for healing. “Self-care is about doing things that feed your mind, body, and spirit but when we gather in numbers, we’re able to be ourselves and let down the heavy things we’re carrying.”, she shares.
From a collective of mothers who share daycare responsibilities to a special circle of girlfriends who offer a listening ear and a soft place to land, these are the women Tara refers to these women as ‘gardeners’ in the book. They speak to the importance (and need) of showing up for each other. Even in modern context, we see examples of Black travel groups, local or online book clubs like Black Girls Who Read, running groups or even professional organization memberships as pathways to self-care and survival via diverse support systems. The village is not only recommended, but also essential. Wellness, at its core, is communal.
Permission to…Have Fun!
One of the most radical things we can do to preserve their overall health and wellness is to simply…do something, anything just for fun. Black women often ‘age out’ of having fun and focusing on their creative interests at an early age, to instead focus on responsibilities while still being children themselves.
Tara’s advice? Experiment. Try something new!
In the Chapter dedicated to Creative Wellness, Tara encourages the reader to tap into our creative sides. Focus on “self-expression. It’s about taking who you are and what you feel and pulling that outward.” What does that mean exactly? Dabble in painting for the first time. Try new recipes. Experiment with new fashion style. Write. Sing. Dream. The focus should be on challenging yourself to do something fun and creative that is not connected to work. Because the point here is not perfection, it’s about self-expression, and the space to do so.
Stop Trying to Heal in Secret
As we continue to navigate and curate our own personal new year’s, let’s stop trying to heal in secret. Tara’s vision for the future—and her work with her digital platform, The Self Care Suite—is a reminder that our “village” is what makes the heavy things feel lighter. Whether we are connecting through a screen or meeting up in person, the goal is the same: to ensure no Black woman feels she has to carry the world alone. Your most important wellness practice might just be reaching out. Online AND Offline.
Bloom How You Must reminds all Black women that self-care should not be considered a reward for hard work. True wellness extends far beyond a juice cleanse or a spa weekend. The book serves as an awakening to reset and reclaim our humanity – from the inside out. It also reminds us of the importance of reconnecting to the communal traditions of our ancestors. Whether you are proudly wearing your ‘Strong Black Woman’ cape or just coming to the realization that you’re always under to pressure to serve, protect and provide, make this year this one that is intentional about not just surviving but thriving. You owe it to yourself!
Check out: The Toll on Our Health When We Try to be Superwoman (There’s Research)
